A Cure for Sore Abdominal Muscles
You know you are completely out of shape when you play Wii Sports for an hour while hopped up on Ambien and then you can’t move the next day without feeling like a fresh fucked carp. I am actually kind of inspired to buy Wii fit. Although, I was just told that there is a secret Wii plug-in that allows you to turn your Wii-mote into a giant sex toy, like a dildo, vibrator or big burly fucking butt plug. Then you get your own model to poke, prod, and violate. What’s even better than all of this is that you can actually post someone’s body parts on top of the models. So if you have pictures of people (such as Jessica or Perseo), or even have snapshots of people in the bathtub, you can humiliate them buy using your Wii-Fuck on them! How unbelievably cool is that??
While writing this, I was listening to "Didn’t Mean To Fall In Love" by Boston
Hey, my new plug in seems to work very well! I really don’t like that song though. I like Boston’s second album “Don’t Look Back” a lot more every time I listen to it. In fact I was even considering listing a follow up to my top ten albums of all time with a companion “Top Ten Albums of the First Ten Bands that AREN’T the Top Ten Albums” you understand. If you go by my original list, I would give you the SECOND best album by each of these bands. I can do this real quick with my new Live Writer Plugins. Check out the new Bullets plug in!
The Beach Boys, “Wild Honey”
The Rolling Stones, “Sticky Fingers”
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention to that one! Ha! BTW I like the later Led Zeppelin stuff more than the early stuff. And don’t forget that these are my SECOND favorite albums by these artists. They are in no order that matters. I just threw them together as fast as google would let me.
Anyone for a serious discussion now? Me neither. Let’s talk about how I have a new to do list. Well, actually, the only thing I really want to do is kick the holy shit out of that “Little Bit of Luck” motherfucker. I seriously hate that fucking bastard. If some disproportioned weirdo came up to me and started waxing about the fucking lottery to me I would probably punt his little ass half way across third avenue. This is why I don’t go into New York anymore. Shit like that doesn’t happen in Jersey. Midget fuckers with huge heads don’t start singing with the 7-11 guy. In Jersey they kick you in the fucking balls and steal your lottery ticket. Then they go buy houses in Netcong. I’m just saying.
I am going to KILL that guy. I am officially calling his fat ass out. Wherever you are “Little Bit of Go Fuck Yourself” call me and I promise to smash your face through a door.
I was thinking about the merits of getting a little bit violent. But my belly hurts right now and I am in no mood for weird ass midget things. Sorry.
I watched “How the West Was Won” today in “Smilevision”. Basically they used three cameras to try and create a 3-D effect in 1962. I don’t know, it basically just made a curved screen and looked distorted. But the movie was pretty cool. If I was 30 in 1962 I would definitely want to bang Debbie Reynolds. And yes you don’t have to tell me that Eddie Fisher banged her and made Princess Leia. I am well aware of it. Dorks. This is a real good place to try out my IMDB widget! Sweet.
How the West Was Won
Carroll Baker, Henry Fonda, Karl Malden, George Peppard, Debbie Reynolds, Eli Wallach,
Oh fucking so cool. I am just going to play with my dumb ass new toys. Yes, I understand that by even watching this movie, or mentioning Debbie Reynolds I am halfway to being gay. Oh well. It’s not Like I am going to watch “Mommie Dearest” with Joan Crawford’s daughter. I can’t find a great picture of Debbie anyway. She’s still cute to be honest for an old lady. Carrie Fisher looks like a pig though. How funny is that?
Hey check out this Video of Artie Lange.
He looks GOOD huh? I feel so terrible for him. His story is really awful. You should read his book to get the true idea. Don’t ask to borrow my copy, go fucking buy your own. Cheap assholes. And while you are at it, watch “Beer League”
Beer League
Artie Lange, Anthony DeSando, Jimmy Palumbo, Laurie Metcalf, Michael Deeg, Maddie Corman,
…oh and feel free to laugh it up when I head out onto the field in my BDizzle jersey to play softball with the Barooshians and Scelsos!!
While writing this, I was listening to "Everything I Own" by Bread
HAHA!! I fucking love this shit. I am amusing the living hell out of myself. Can you tell that I have NOTHING to say right now? Do you want to know why? Because other than that bullshit “Little Bit O’ Fuck” guy, I have nothing to complain about. Here’s why I have nothing to complain about:
1. There is some money in my bank. I even managed to pay off some money to my friends, the dickface dentist (He’s done), the overpriced shrink, and bought myself some new toys.
2. MILF Porn is my new obsession. My god do I enjoy MILF porn. In fact who doesn’t enjoy MILF porn? Welcome to the new millenium where being old is HOT!!
3. My Warehouse is clean. Hey it’s the little things. Like a new inventory system, 32 foot high ceilings, and racks. OOH that makes me think of MILFS!
4. I was at the train station the other day and it must have been nylon day. My God. Good thing they have bathrooms on the train because I was very hot. And the girl I met on the train was too!!
5. Brian Dawkins left the Eagles for Denver. Fuck you Philly asshole fans!! You SUCK! He was the FACE of your defense. You just let him walk. Well, maybe he will win a championship like Reggie did right? And shut up with your Phillies crap. No one cares about baseball anymore.
6. I am following Shaq, Ashton and Demi, and Britney on Twitter. So retarded. I am most proud of my dirty relationship with Soleil Moon Frye though.
While writing this, I was listening to "A Hard Road" by Black Sabbath
HAHA!!! Fucking A!
OK fine, I’m bored now. I leave you with this:
Old men crying, young men dying
World still turns as Father Time looks on
On and on
Children playing, dreamers praying
Laughter turns to tear as love has gone
Has it gone?
Oh, it’s a hard road
Oh, it’s a hard road
Whirlwind churning, lovers learning
On this path of life we can’t back down
Is it wrong?
Widows weeping, babies sleeping
Life becomes the singer and the song
Sing along
Oh, it’s a hard road
Carry your own load
Why make the hard road?
Why can’t we be friends?
No need to hurry
We’ll meet in the end
Why make the hard road?
Why can’t we be friends?
No need to worry
Let’s sing it again
Brother’s sharing, mother’s caring
Nightime falling victim to the dawn
Shadows small
Days are crawling, time is calling
To the Earth that not that life has gone
Love line drawn
Oh, it’s a hard road
Carry your own load
Oh, it’s a hard road
Oh, it’s a hard road…
We’re living in sorrow, we’re living the best
And look to the future, `cause life goes together now
We’re living in sorrow, we’re living the best
And look to the future, `cause life goes together now
We’re living in sorrow, we’re living the best
And look to the future, `cause life goes together now…
Yay! i love how you fixed the links to open a new tab..now i will click on them all : )