So You Want to Blog (Or My Balls are Like Boulders)

If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for
Write to me and escape

—Rupert Holmes

That’s like the first damned song that Lyrics Fly butchered and had trouble finding. Well, I tried to input “Pina Colada Song” which should work since the song, entitled “Escape” is actually parenthesed as (The Pina Colada Song). I made that word up. I’m not that clever, and I’m sure some OTHER kick ass cool dude already made up the word. But I am laying claim to it. Come to think of it, this is why these damned blogs are always so long. Because I rattle on and on about shit that nobody cares about. Maybe I should just get to the damned point??

OK, well I had to sit down and do some research tonight. It’s a good bet that very few people would take the time to truly figure this shit out and help out a friend. Angela is looking for a way to set her blogs up on Facebook, and I wanted to make sure that she took the easiest route possible. In order for me to do this for her, I had to do some heavy lifting, since I have always done it in the most brain frying way. Basically, I have been writing my blogs in Microsoft Word and then copy and pasting into WordPress, TypePad and Live Blog on Facebook. I haven’t even posted to my multiply account because it has been  a complete whore and I got frustrated. Little did I realize that it was indeed the word processor that was causing all of the horror. So when I decided to put this little ditty together for Angela I learned that you should NEVER type in Word and then move it to your blog.

So here are some steps to help you get a Facebook blog going. Now the only thing that I can tell you is that Facebook has downright AWFUL interfaces for blogs. Nothing is really accessible the way you want it to be, and the blog never comes out the way you want it too. This is a complete shame considering how many people you can reach with the site. Especially now that I am doing things the right way in my life, I have amassed nearly 250 friends who I really do know in some way shape or form. Now if more people other than Lynn (I do appreciate it) would spread the word, I might be on to something.

I talk too much.

Yes that is Alison Sweeney. Yes she just had a baby. Yes it was mine. Yes I love her.

Oh, the blog thing…mmmhhmmm as Gerry would say.

First off I would suggest NEVER using the embedded blog tools on ANY blog site. By this I mean the little windows inside of your browser where you would type to your blog.  I have lost multiple blogs due to browser crashes. So we are going to do everything the right way and keep you protected. Keep in mind that in this blog, I am showing you how to save to your hard drive also, so that the blog stays safe in case the browser crashes. If there is someone in your home that you Do Not want to see them, I suggest deleting the blog when the post is successful, or password protecting the files on the hard drive. OK, let’s bullet point, because that is sexier than Alison up there.

Oh and don’t forget my “sweetie” Kara DioGuardi, we just got engaged. We need a pic of her for inspiration ya know.

Girlfriend, that is NOT a good picture. Dem TITTIES is hangin’ out!!!

1. Download Firefox because IE sucks and we are going to give Microsoft some love in a second. We don’t even need to harp on this anymore. Next time I will tell you what add-ons to load but for now just head on over to: http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/ .

2. Pick a blogging site to host your blog. I know that all you may want is to post of Facebook, but trust me, you can do some pretty cool stuff on these sites, and it’s relatively easy. We can link to your blog in Facebook and everything will come out rosy, well sort of. I recommend WordPress, but you can also use TypePad or Blogger among others. Lynn uses Blogger, and I will plug her in a sec. For the sake of my own sanity, I am going to use WordPress as the basis here, since well, that’s kind of where you are (unless you are reading the shitty Facebook one, in which case please go to http://abbyspop.wordpress.com right now)

Head over to WordPress and sign up for a new account. When I tell you this is easy, I mean it. They will ask you to set a name for your blog, just like this one. When you choose the blog name it will automatically make your free site http://yourblogname.wordpress.com. All you are going to need for this basic intro is that link that you just created, your username and password. You will have the option of changing the look and feel of your site and I certainly encourage you to look through the themes and other gadgets you can add to your site. But since you are only interested in either the Facebook version or that stupid Live Blog tab that is on my profile (I am researching another TAB based app that lets me update from WordPress but so far no dice.)

3.  OK, now you have your mini blog site set up. There are a few programs that can be used for this part. I am only going to talk about my choice, because many of the others are Mac only, and this one: Windows Live Writer not only is obviously Windows based, but it also has the same basic feel as Word which should be familiar to all of us that have a job and use Word 2003 or 2007.

Once you download Windows Live Writer to your computer, simply install it and open it. The wizard tutorial will walk you through the setup process. Remember this is best because you don’t want to lose your stuff. So I highly recommend this. If you don’t feel like doing this stuff, simply type in the QuickPress box in your WordPress dashboard and you can post right away. Again, I don’t recommend copy and paste because you will have to remove oodles of ugly code later on.

During the setup process you will need to enter your blog link, the user name and password. It will also ask if you want to update with your theme settings. You can say yes for now, but it’s not that important. The REALLY cool thing about Live Writer is the new Facebook Connect system that allows you to log into a ton of websites just by logging into Facebook. This applies to your blog by letting you log into Windows Live directly from Facebook. CHA-Ching! This means that when you update your blog from Live Writer you will send a notification to ALL of your Facebook friends. OK, you can touch me.

I’m not 100% sure yet, but you may not need a Windows Live ID for this. But give me some time to research it. As well as some of your bodies. (Did you REALLY think I wouldn’t drop one of these in here?)

4. Type to your hearts content. Everything applies the same and I’m even pretty sure that this new coded writer will allow you to post the links and pics seamlessly in Facebook. So type. Play around. Insert pictures:

Use the hyperlink keys. You can send anyone pretty much anywhere. And the best part is the cool WordPress preview pane which gives you an idea of where you are headed in the end.

You can make tables, draw graphs, you can pretty much do everything. In fact I am getting a bit giddy to see how this works myself.

5. So now you can simply hit the “Publish” key in Live Writer. Remember to use the “Save Local” function frequently while writing. This is in the “File” menu. Follow the instructions, and congratulations on your blog. You can see your finished work by logging into your site, or by following the URL you created. If you did your blog using the silly little box in your browser, congrats to you too. I still like this way better. But you have a blog on WordPress now.

6. The tricky part. Log into Facebook. (Did you friend me on WordPress? I think you should!)

7. In the search box in FB, type the following: “WordPress” no quotes but I’m a little banged up on Lunesta right now. The first page you will see in the FB search is the WordPress application. You can try my link but if it doesn’t work you need to search. Add the application. After you add it to your profile, there will be a WordPress login page. Just fill out the info and click “publish to profile”.

It gets BAD now. You need to go into the “Applications” button in the lower left hand corner of FB. Right above the start menu. At the top click “Edit”. You will be sent to the “Applications Settings” menu. (While you are here, dump all the shit you don’t use). In the “Show” dropdown menu, click on “Authorized”. Then you will see everything. You can click on the “Edit Settings” next to WordPress. A box will drop down. Leave the button where it is and click on “Profile Tab”. Where it says “Box” click ADD. Once it says Added, you are sexual, I mean good to go.

While you are in this menu, you can choose to bookmark, but you will see this a lot anyway so no rush. Click OK and then click on your name way up top to go to your profile. NOW, you can choose to keep your WordPress Box in the “Boxes Tab” where it will now be numero uno up top. The only problem here is that no one checks the Boxes Tab and it may get lost. To post the box on your home profile page click on the pencil icon in the upper right hand of the WordPress box. You will see an option for “Move to Profile Tab”. When you click on this it will swing back to the front of your page and let you place the box anywhere on the left hand side. It will look all scrunched up after you update the blog, but at least it is in plane view. Many apps can be moved to the front this way as well, and you can move the other way too, so experiment.

8. If you want to add Live Blog, it is here or you can do a search for Live Blog and install it. You can’t post directly to Live blog, BUT you can copy the source code to it from Live Writer or WordPress (Source Code tab is at bottom of Live Writer screen).  When you get the Live Blog Box on your “Boxes Tab” there will be an option to move the tab up to the top like my page. Do that and maneuver it around so you get it in view.

Let’s stop here, because I have a feeling that this is going to be tough. Let’s all get drunk now.

I will let you know more goodies when I find them, and I will add the Facebook Connect app to my WordPress so you all can comment all over the place. Ya Dig?

Ahhhh…so time for bed. And Tony, I am not dignifying you by posting 1 man 1 jar. But it is pretty disgusting and should not be viewed at work or EVER.

Me!

Jennifer I’m really sorry for all the headaches caused by me,
and I realize you are always there, why I cannot see.
But I’ve got to let you know it’s not in vain.
Confusions the best to describe the time shared by you and I.
Were on and off and on and off again, the cycle just wont end.
And your always ready to start again.

Each day I love you more than the day before,
And in my heart you’ll stay my Jennifer.

How can you and I be so in love, and still fight every night.
I think I’m still trying to find myself its hard to settle down.
And I know your ready to say I do.

No matter what, what the future holds I want you to know.
That I will always love you endlessly, when it’s hard to believe
Like when were in another fight.