I’m Proud of This One.
Love me or hate me, I have always promised to just say whatever it is that is on my mind. I have never pulled punches. My friends always get pissed at me and hold shit against me because I speak my mind, but it’s much better than the alternative; talking behind people’s backs like a coward (I know I do that too). Like it or not, I come forward and tell you how I feel. It sucks, but I wish people would just come forward and tell me that they think I’m an asshole. It would be so much easier. Being loved is over-rated. Being hated is the new loved. This may be the last time that I get to speak my mind however. After tomorrow, the downfall of our society is coming. For months I sat and wavered on the issues set forth by this year’s Presidential Erection. That was not a typo. I do not have any faith in any politician. John Adams was quoted many times as saying that having a two party system in this country would ultimately lead to its downfall. As a student of International Finance I was privileged to hear about multiple countries that have been thrust into economic hell because of the bullshit set forth by the impatient and mentally challenged general population.
Do you know what happens when the unemployed, lazy and unmotivated start having a political impact on a country? Totalitarianism, Communism, Authoritarianism, Nazism, Socialism, and Marxism are just a few examples. Why? Because in their quest to receive justifications for their laziness, they hand over control to political psychopaths and megalomaniacs that believe that true equality is a possibility. These political zealots soon find a way to take control of everything, inciting the masses of pathetic excuses for humans into defending their ridiculous and insane beliefs. Think the Bolsheviks, Lenin, Stalin, Napoleon, and some guy named Adolf Hitler. These are the people who start revolutions of madness and drag everyone that follow them into deeper economic states of depression. Now before I go into my ridiculous rant about how Obama is a more obvious wolf in sheep’s clothing than a WWE “manager”, I have to run down something that I said a few months ago about the major points of contention in this election.
1. The “War”: You were all for it when it started. But let me remind you of one thing. 3,000 PEOPLE DIED IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN PLANES SLAMMED INTO BUILDINGS AND CRASHED. How soon you pathetic pieces of trash forget. Unless you are as dumb as the pot leaves you smoke, you might remember that Middle-Eastern extremists were responsible for the first mainland attack on this country since 1812 (don’t get into technicalities with me on Native American, Spanish –Indian Wars, or Pearl Harbor…I said mainland and I meant by foreign countries). Islamic militants were responsible for a slaughter in 1972 at the Munich Games (Classy to do it in of all places Germany too), and ridiculous amounts of atrocities against their own people with differing opinions. This should come as no surprise to anyone who can bother to read a book once in a while given the basic history of religions. The Christians and their crusades were right about the same general age as Islam is now. I’m not condemning Muslims and Islam as a whole. They have every right to believe in whatever they choose. However when extremists threaten my way of life? Fuck them. My life and the life of my family and friends are more important than theirs. My point? After two terrorist attacks a blow job and a cigar-fucking; a president, albeit an idiot, and his cabinet finally decide to kick the shit out of anyone they see as responsible. So Afghanistan and the Taliban get their asses kicked. We can’t find one asshole in a mountain (he’s probably been dead for a while BTW…notice he’s not sending any more messages), and that is a problem I agree. But during this time, that fat, puffy scumbag in Iraq is busy kicking out U.N. Weapon inspectors at an alarming rate and intentionally testing the patience of a country that was recently attacked and threatened many more times. So we go in and fuck him and his boys up. GOOD. Was it about oil? Who the hell cares? All I know is that we sent a message to the extremists and FINALLY said, if you fuck with us, we will beat the shit out of you. And God damn it if I am not PROUD TO THE CORE of the men and women who went overseas to help protect me. I love them, I am a coward for not going myself and I readily admit it. Every year I try to donate to charities at Christmas to help bring troops home to their families. Why? Because they believe in what they are doing, they love their freedom and their country and they deserve my support. Some fat lazy fucking bum who refuses to get a job? Not so much.
Now 7 years later. You stupid granola eating, sandal wearing, stupid fucking lazy liberal assholes do nothing but complain. Why? Because it’s what your pussy parents taught you to do. The big difference is, the Vietnam War was a joke. They were right. They were fighting a war that made no sense, and had little to no purpose. 4 planes didn’t slam into buildings and Earth in 1966. No, some lunatic revolutionary in Cuba seized control and now all Cubans eat Spam every night because there is no economic end in sight. (I’m too tired to make sense of the previous sentence but I was referring to Castro, The Cuban Missile Crisis and The Bay of Pigs). So we followed the French into Vietnam, and the pussies smoked weed, handed out flowers and sang love songs in a field in New York. Now, real quick quiz, what happened when this loser misinformed generation tried its own 4 days of peace and love? Yup, they incited a riot. Different times people. I understand the disaster that was the Vietnam War. Thank you Lyndon Johnson for orchestrating the murder of a murderer and getting that one going (I’m going with Oliver Stone on this one). In fact it was the Democrats decision that led us into the war that would give us the fucking hippies that are causing such a disaster today. You can’t be lazy fuckers like your parents. Half of you are stupid as fuck because your parents dropped 80 tabs of acid anyway. I will fight my mother to the core on this. The baby boomers were awful parents. Sorry Mom, but it’s true. Your hippie bull shit gave an entire generation an excuse to be lazy.
That brings me to the point that really needs to be made here. You stupid bleeding heart liberals piss me off. You want us to care about the atrocities in fucking Darfur? BUT we need to end the war? Not quite. We owe it to the people of Iraq to help them institute a government that promotes civil liberties and freedom. We wouldn’t want the gays in Iraq to be without health care would we? (Trust me, this one is coming too). Here’s why I hate the right wing assholes too. The word “Victory”. There is no Victory in fucking war. People fucking DIE. That chick Cole Hamels pitching the Fighting Phuckheads to a World Series win is a “Victory”. Blowing up human beings is not. Try saying this McCain and Milf…”We will stay and help the Iraqi’s start a fair and just government. We owe them their freedom for what we have put them through”. If this means that there is less money to give to lazy unemployed fucks too bad. Every morning 500 illegal immigrants stand in the cold by the Motown train station hoping to get back breaking day labor gigs (No waterproofing!! LOL), maybe you should try it you obese slob. We owe it to those people. When I touch on cutting fetuses out of vaginas later I will remind you that in some Arab countries not only can women’s faces not be seen but they also remove their clitorises so that they cannot feel sexual pleasure. Yeah, women in this country are fucking oppressed by an Alaskan woman who shoots moose. Barack Obama is hanging around with members of the PLO, and jerking off Saudi princes, and I’m supposed to feel comfortable with the state of this country with him in charge? You’ve got to be kidding me. I really don’t particularly care about Israel (boy the fucking British just walk away from that one without any repercussion), but they are a gateway to World War III. Realize that solidarity and nuclear arms in the Middle East probably triggers a massive war that gives control of major resources, airspace and waterways to zealots with no value of life. But hey, fuck Europe anyway. They won’t get to us. Thank God for the Pacific Fleet, because the Japanese nearly got here…
So how do I solve it? Diplomacy isn’t going to work. 60 years of this horseshit over there. Even when you think it’s about to start changing you know it is never going to be solved. So we have to protect ourselves. We as the United States, along with the U.N. decided way back in 1947 to back the city state of Israel. Guess what? We pretty much should stick with it. I trust my Grandparents’ generation’s decisions much more than my parents. This means we have to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves. The best way to do this? Keep a very dangerous problem at bay. I understand we have our own problems, but more will be coming if we don’t keep one eye on the lunatics over there. If Iran is building nuclear weapons, they will point them at one of two places: Israel and US. We started something in Iraq, now let’s finish it up. Bring our troops home, but when they are ready. I trust our troops. They love us, and I love them. Be safe, but help the Iraqi’s be safe. If we need to disarm Iran, maybe the pussies in the U.N will stand behind us.
2. Abortion: I’m not spending HALF as much time on this one. People let me say this for the last time. Abortion is ultimately a state issue. Roe V. Wade is NEVER going to be reversed. No one is taking away your right to choose. My stance on abortion has always been clear. Women have a right to choose, it is their body (though it’s illegal to inject certain narcotics, and technically commit suicide but whatever). This is the classic case of the fucking retarded right wing bible thumpers fighting the extreme left asses with shit between their toes. There is a clear middle to be agreed upon here. Let’s not make this procedure overly accessible. Promote the proper use of birth control (Health care should ALWAYS cover Birth Control Pills). Rape victims who are pregnant should have government paid abortions. Only properly licensed doctors should perform them, and while the choice of a teenager under 18 should be hers to make, she still needs to be accompanied by an adult. ANY adult. If the parents won’t do it, then there should be government programs set up to help them through the decision making process and accompany them for the procedure. I do NOT agree that 14 year old girls should be getting abortions in hospitals like they are stitches. STOP promoting abortion as a birth control. Make it clear that multiple abortions can reduce your chances of further pregnancy, and that they can also cause further complications. Enough bitching however that some Republican is going to appoint enough justices to overturn Roe V. Wade and take away your right to choose. Remember ladies, you walk the streets with your tits hanging out, your thong showing, and whatever else you’d like to show. In the Middle-East you are wearing black robes and a veil. Oh and it isn’t fetuses that are being removed, it’s your clit. This is a good place to say that the pathetic female reaction to Sarah Palin is horrifying. REGARDLESS of some of her views and quirky behaviors, this is a strong independent woman who is standing in the face of adversity. Obama would have NO chance in this election if his race abandoned him as much as your gender has shit on her. I don’t like everything that she has to say either, but she’s out there fighting it out with the big boys and holding her own. Susan B. Anthony must be rolling in her grave. Do you realize how hard women fought to vote? Do you understand that you were the last group to earn voting rights? (19th amendment for all of you ignorant idiots out there, we prohibited alcohol first). Even if you don’t like her, give her some god damned credit. Catty bitches all of you.
3. Gay Marriage: This is my absolute least favorite topic. THIS is the biggest civil rights issue of our generation? Oh now Susan, Rosa Parks, AND Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. are spinning. I have ZERO problems with homosexuality. NONE. Don’t care at all. Good for them. Alternative lifestyle is great. Shit, I wish I was gay sometimes so I didn’t have to deal with women. But this issue is a nightmare because it is entirely over a WORD. That’s it. A FUCKING WORD. They want to get married and tell the world that they are married. Every candidate agrees that they should be able to get the same rights and privileges of married heterosexual couples. BUT if they don’t use the word MARRIAGE, it’s a horrifying atrocity. Here is another example of the two sides NEVER agreeing on a compromise. Never going to happen. Marriage is a religious institution (we’ve done an awful job of separating church and state BTW) and should be governed by the damn religions. Want to end this shit? Remove the fucking word from all government forms, applications and other bull shit. Now we ALL are civilly united or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Get married in a church and refer to it as marriage at the dinner table. Take your domestic partnership and all the rights that come with it and stop. Why the hell would anyone want to get married anyway? I accept you, no matter what they call it. Some of us are very tolerant. The religious zealots will never stop with this bull shit either. Is it worth it to fight with people that are positive that a being created the universe with a thought and gave us the Bible, one of the most sexist and racist books ever written (I’m an equal opportunity asshole ya know)? It’s important that we are all equal yes, but words do not deem equality. Give them all the rights that we would have, they should be able to adopt freely as well. But give these right wing kooks a rest too.
4. The legalization of Marijuana: Give it up hippies. Marijuana does not cure AIDS, or Cancer, and actually makes you dumber. Really, have you truly listened to the Dead or Dylan? And boy wouldn’t the drive home be fun with 100 VW Vans driving 8 miles an hour on the highways. In fact this is a good place to mention that the voting age should be 25 or at least 5 years work experience (Full time). Do you know what the number 1 issue is amongst adults 18-20? Lowering the legal drinking age! Ask a 21 year old his stance on this, and he will answer with the rest of us. WHO THE FUCK CARES!?? We don’t trust you to drink until you are 21 but we let you vote and make decisions for our country? HA HA HA! Another note here, if you can’t spell you can’t vote. I agree that education in urban areas is a problem, and support further funding in the inner cities. I also support testing before voting. You can curve them based on median scores in areas too. And different tests in different areas so as to counter act any cultural biases. But you really should know that Sarah Palin is running with McCain and not Obamalamadingdong. Just simple tests. Really. It eliminates people who post stories about people yelling “N$%^# LOVER” into the phone and claiming they are from the Republican National Committee. And as for Republicans refusing to give candy to Obama supporters…umm, how does one ask children that on Halloween? Does anyone really believe this? Much like the Obama Pizza place story. It’s all useless horseshit. And candidates on Monday Night Football is fucking absurd.
So as Obama makes history today I want you all to realize that by him winning you have officially said that he is THE most important American who descended from Africa (I will never stop saying that an American is an American no matter where his/her ancestors are from or what color he/she is). He gets his own chapter in history books. His own monument, and maybe even a bill or coin. From my perspective I will always consider Martin Luther King Jr. as one of the greatest MEN who ever lived. His speeches were so amazing, so filled with hope and passion that he transcended the racial barriers he was faced with. I don’t believe that this man Barack Obama is deserving of the accolades of being such a historical figure. I believe in my heart that there are thousands of Men and Women of color (more pigment in their skin than me, the only thing that truly differs) who would be more suitable to become the historical landmark that his or her people could be proud of. A man that speaks of “Civil Military” is not the kind of leader I expect. A man that tells me it is my “duty” to help the poor is wrong. I will help most certainly, but I will help those that can’t help themselves. Not the ones who refuse to help themselves. Fuck them. I would like a political candidate to not spend a year touting no tax raises for those families under $250,000 per year and then realize that the maximum bracket is $200,000. I would like a candidate that speaks like Dr. King, a man that understand that working together is the only way that we can achieve anything. That EVERYONE has to do their part. Teach a man to fish Senator Obama, I’m not just giving my fish to everyone else.
This having been said, I am not exactly a supporter of “Half-Dead” John either. He doesn’t want this. I don’t like that at all. He is NOT George Bush though. Please cut that bull shit out. Bush is a moron. He fucked everything up because he is an arrogant asshole (much like Obamalamadingdong) and never admitted a single mistake. At least Clinton admitted to the cigar incident. Anyway, McCain is as close to a moderate as it gets in the Republican Party though and I wonder if his time was really 8 years ago. Funny how sexism trumps racism though as I seem to be hearing a lot of “do you really want Sarah Palin running this country when McCain croaks?” comments. Please, it’s not going to happen, and while she’s too conservative for my tastes, she won’t be able to do half the things you loons fear. Because like I said, sexism prevails, and the senate will stonewall her all over. Look at Hillary people. One ugly bitch, but probably the most suitable of all the recent contenders (Joe Biden is a spineless lying fucking scumbag. Delaware is the corporate douche capital of the U.S. (No corporate taxes). Open your eyes idiots). But McCain and the Republicans fail for one simple reason: The right ideas, but the wrong way to implement them.
The economic situation in this country. I’m going to solve it for you people.
1. Corporate Tax INCENTIVES: Corporations get tax SHELTERS or incentives. You want lower corporate taxes? Increase economic productivity in this country. Create more jobs. The government will give you more money provided that you use it to stimulate the economy and it doesn’t end up in the back pocket of the scumbag CEO’s. Too many Enrons…we need to set up an incentive program. Here is one.
2. Real Estate Tax Shelters: I would be swimming in money right now with this, so I’m a bit biased. BUT given our current state, lose the tax reform of 1984. Allow big tax refunds for real estate owners. Give money back for building and renovating real estate. This creates more jobs and pulls the housing market out of the basement. It also helps the banks who can actually continue to give lower rate mortgages to the less fortunate because the average American will increase his take home dollars which he can re-invest in Real Estate. This also slows down the HEAVILY inflated stock market which was ravaged by morons with hedge funds. (While I was a useless drone in college I wrote an essay on the merits of the DOW hitting 5800…5800!!!)
3. SLOWLY lessen funds in Iraq and overseas wars: Be careful, but we need to pull back some of the funds going overseas. We all understand the need to keep money in our domestic markets, but we also need to protect ourselves because what good are my real estate tax shelters if shit is burning to the ground. Don’t forget tax shelters allow more government funded housing development and renovations of badly worn down urban areas.
4. Shoot drug dealers on the spot. I volunteer to shoot drug dealers. Well, not Xanax dealers, but no one is perfect. If we really made an effort to stop the drug trade in this country….
In summation, I don’t like either candidate, but in recent weeks I have come to LOATHE Barack Obama. He is a fraud, a liar and a pathetic tool of extremists. I firmly believe that a county in turmoil should slowly change from one idea to the next. Going from conservative to extreme liberalism is a recipe for disaster. Take the time to Wikipedia “Argentina”. Trust me my MBA (well almost) is in International Finance, and well gee, I got a 99 on my Argentinean Economy paper. Here is a country that flips back and forth from nationalized government control to capitalism every 10 years or so. And what have they gained? Nothing. The country is a veritable disaster. Peronism is still a major problem and they have written off so much debt it is insane. But the impatience of their people to slowly change is what causes the mess. If you want, ask me for a copy of my paper. I warn you though it is 50 pages long. Oh and just so you know my other paper is on Ireland (more than just drunks apparently) where aggressive corporate tax rates (i.e ummm…none?) have turned them into a European powerhouse. But hey what do I know?
Fucking Republicans. You couldn’t give us a hard working man that wasn’t beaten to a pulp. He is so sad to me. The man took hot pokers in the asshole for our country….But he just doesn’t seem to have the strength for this. Plus he is still corporate driven, and those fucks don’t deserve the money any more than the lazy fat pieces of shit who Obama wants to donate too. Want me to donate? I donate to Animal Shelters…because I love them. They don’t care what you look like or who you support.
One last little brain fart here. Just because I’m not voting for Obamalamadingdong doesn’t make me a racist. You are an ignorant fuck for believing it. And anyone who doesn’t support him but they are too scared to be called a racist is pathetic. Stand up for what you believe in. This isn’t about making history; it’s about making your life better. If anyone calls me a racist because I don’t support Obama, they are a bigger racist than me. And changing your middle name to “Hussein” on social websites? It’s amazing how 7 years can erase a memory. Barack didn’t choose the middle name that matched a scumbag tyrant…but you clearly think it’s a political statement. Go burn a flag I guess.
I love my country. I love all of you no matter what your opinions are. I would help anyone in a heartbeat regardless of race, creed, religion or sex. Opinions are just that, opinions. I wish that peace was possible too.
I don’t feel that anyone is entitled to anything. For those of us that have been more privileged I am sorry. We do need to help others. But ask us to help. Do not tell us.
One last time…for you Ms. Washington, who said the most important thing I have ever heard in my life.
My high school friend J.T. (Obviously he was of African descent) and I asked the art teacher for flesh colored acrylic paints. Her response will stick with me forever:
“Your flesh color or his?”
So true. So true.
Hate me all you want. But get a job.
Love always,
Mike
P.S. Cute devil costume Ms. Eva…LOL
